Sleepless Scully
by Yecart
Summary: When Scully cannot sleep Mulder steps in to fix the problem, nothing a vacation cannot fix, even if it's with Maggie Scully.
1. Chapter 1

As Mulder arrived at the basement office Friday morning, he realised that the lights were on, which was strange as he was sure he'd turned them off. Upon trying the door handle the door swung open and for a second he was ready to pull his weapon until he saw his partner with her glasses and laptop clicking away at the keys. It was not yet six o'clock.

"Scully? You're here a little early aren't you?"

"I could say the same for you" she replied, but kept typing.

Mulder sighed, this was strange and definitely unlike his partner.

"I thought I was the one addicted to work" he tried for some light-hearted banter.

"hmmmm" Scully just mumbled not looking at him..

Something was definitely not right here, but Mulder was a miss as to what was going on. He decided that it was best not to pry this early in the morning when his partner did not look as though she welcomed the interrogation. Plus if it were he in a mood he would be just as stubborn, so giving her some time was decided best for the moment.

Mulder continued to watch her throughout the day, she had dark circles under her eyes he noticed, she had tried to cover them with her make-up and she'd be drinking truck loads of coffee all day. Being a trained psychologist Mulder was easily able to add up the symptoms she looked both worn out and dreary she had been trying to stifle her yawns, she most definitely had not been sleeping. Why that was he had no idea, and this worried him. Was she seeing someone, someone who was keeping her up all night, someone who wasn't him? Was the cancer back? No. She would have told him, he's her best friend. It must be something else he decided.

What would she not wish to speak to him about? He knew his partner well, certainly well enough to know that she was a determined and strong person who would see any wish for help as making her seem unequal and weak in mens eyes. Though he knew it to be a falsehood, he respected Scully and the things she has seen would make a grown man cry, there is nothing wrong with...That's it!

Scully's not sleeping; she has seen so many things and has so many things to worry about. She was abducted, she can't have children, and various freaks who have tried to kill or sleep with her. No wonder she can't sleep. It's fear. The fear you get when you close your eyes and wish for a dreamless sleep knowing that if you fall under the spell that all you'll see is terror. How is she to feel safe when she was taken from her own home not two years ago, she never sort counselling, she held her head high and said "I'm fine".

Well I'll have to get to the bottom of this, since it is my fault that she has things to fear in the first place, but there is no way Scully would let me keep her safe, who's to say that being around me makes her feel safe anyway?

At lunch time Mulder decided it was time to take action and coax the answer out of Scully, she was clearly too tired to fight him on the matter by now.

"Come on Scully, let's get something to eat" Mulder suggested softly.

"Okay Mulder" Scully went easily.

When they got to their favourite sandwich shop Mulder stood in line to order and Scully went and sat at a table. He watched her idly play with the ice cubes in her glass of water until it was his turn to be served, he was worried for her.

Whilst waiting for their orders Mulder decided that it was now or never and got straight to the point.

"Scully are you alright? You don't seem yourself, and I know you always say that you're fine, but today just once talk to me, don't shut me out, tell me what's wrong, I only ever want to help you, look after you, like you do for me, please let me look after you Dana" he almost whispered the last part.

Scully was too weak to interrupt his speech and just stared at him for a moment before sighing and looking away. Mulder reached across the table and placed his hand on hers but the food arrived and he was forced to quickly rub his thumb against her wrist and then remove his hands so the food could be delivered.

He sat and looked at her waiting for some sort of reply but she wasn't even looking at him. He reached over and gently lifted her face to meet his as soon as her eyes met his they went teary and she tried to look away.

"Oh Scully, please tell me. What is it that's wrong? Did I do something to upset you? What's happened?" he asked her hurriedly.

"Nothing has happened Mulder, you've done nothing, it's me, I'm tired, and exhausted. Actually I haven't slept properly in days" she gasp trying not to break.

"Days? You've not slept for days and I haven't even noticed. Scully I'm so sorry I should have known something was wrong earlier" he said exasperated.

"It's not your fault Mulder you didn't see it because I didn't let you, and only now that I am too tired to play awake is it obvious" a tear escaped her lids sliding down her cheek.

"Tell me why you can't sleep Scully, what is it?" he coaxed.

Scully looked around feeling embarrassed at her sudden tears, wiping them away hurriedly and not looking at Mulder. Mulder seeing her embarrassment paid the bill and asked for their lunch to go. He was determined to comfort Scully. He took her by the hand and guided her out to his car and drove to his apartment which was closest. Scully didn't protest not once when he rang the AD to let him know that he and Scully would be taking a few personal days, she didn't hear the entire conversation as Mulder left the room but she had a feeling that work was covered for now and decided not to worry.

Mulder returned and gave her a slight smile, she only looked away.

"Let me get you some tea Scully" Mulder whispered as he kneeled in front of her.

"No Mulder I don't want any tea" she sighed.

"What do you want Scully" he said looking up into her eyes which were clouded over, she looked so vulnerable.

She began to tremble from holding back her tears and his body surrounded her engulfing her on his couch at once, lending his body to her support. She cried silently for over half an hour until she was most exhausted and Mulder decided that whatever was bothering her he wasn't going to find out just now and it was best that she get some rest. He carried her to his bedroom and owing to the fact that he never slept there himself deposited her in the soft clean sheets.

She stirred slightly as he placed her down her hold on his shirt not loosening. He decided as not to wake her he would have to stay considering she was so snuggled up to him. The rain outside made it an even colder day and he didn't wish for her to catch cold due to being passed out in his bed. So he remained in the bed now laid down beside the sleeping Scully who was curled into him, her tear stained face a reminder to him that something was very wrong with his partner.

It wasn't long before Mulder's musings were put to rest as he too fell asleep with Scully soundly sleeping in his embrace. His last thought was of how it was the first time he'd ever slept in his bed, and that he was glad it was with Scully.


	2. Chapter 2

Hours later Scully awoke feeling refreshed and intoxicated by a wonderful smell, she loved it so much that she closed her eyes and snuggled closer to the warmth at her side it was quite cool. She finally wondered where she was as she opened her eyes and looked at the room; she hadn't remembered ever being in this room and was immediately worried about where she was. Her sudden movement had caused Mulder to awaken only slightly enough to grab her around the waist and bring her back to his chest.

Scully was surprised to be in Mulder's arms, but upon seeing him still asleep and secretly enjoying being held she again drifted off to sleep. The next time she awoke it was afternoon and Mulder was staring at her as she lay practically atop of him. Her eyes went wide and she stammered for an explanation.

"Mulder...I..I...how did we get here?" she asked.

"You fell asleep on my couch in my arms, and so I thought you'd prefer the bed, I brought you in here but found that you were wrapped around me too tightly and to move away would only wake you and I knew how tired you were and..."

"It's okay Mulder, Thank you. I haven't slept like that without waking up several times in a week, I feel safe with you here" she blushed at her words thinking she had said too much.

"You do?" he asked surprised and elated at her words.

"I didn't know you even had a bed Mulder"? She quickly changed the subject.

"Well everyone has a bedroom Scully and so I do have a bed I've just never slept on it before now" he whispered.

"You've never slept in this bed with anyone? She repeated. Then covered her mouth quickly exclaiming "I'm sorry, that's none of my business, I meant to ask have you never slept in this bed at all?" she blushed profusely trying to move out of his arms realising she was still on top of him.

Mulder smiled amused at her embarrassment, and grabbed her before she could move away. She fought only for a moment before realising it was pointless.

"You'd be quite right Scully, I, nor anyone else for that matter has ever slept in this bed, my bed. Only you Scully; you and me, we are the only two people to be in this bed" he whispered this part in her ear smiling at her uneasiness.

Scully looked at him reading his face as he kept his hold on her. She looked over at the clock and realised it was close to 11pm. She had not been home and it was Friday night, her mother would be expecting her to have called. This thought only worried her for a moment as she decided that she would simply call her in the morning. She looked back to Mulder who seemed concerned with her change of mood.

"I guess I should get back to my place, thanks for letting me sleep here Mulder, I needed the rest" she gasped as his hands started roaming up and down her back as if to sooth her.

"You still haven't told me about what's worrying you Scully", he said wisely. "I'm not letting you go until you talk to me about it" he stated this quite firmly.

"Oh and what a punishment that would be" she said under her breath.

"What was that Scully"? Mulder thought he'd heard her speaking sarcastically but couldn't quite catch it.

"Mulder I don't want to talk about it, in fact there is nothing the matter and nothing to talk about, I just haven't been able to sleep" she lied.

"Scully you don't expect me to believe that do you? I could feel the fear in you when I tried to put you to bed earlier, you wouldn't let go of me and you were asleep, if I didn't know better I would say that you Scully are frightened" he said this pleased with himself at how normal it sounded considering how excited he was.

"Alright, I'll tell you. I have nightmares Mulder, they're horrible in them I see you die, and I'm left all alone and then I wake up and I am all alone, only then I realise that you were never with me in the first place and I have nothing to hold on to" she sniffled.

"Scully" he whispered her name and held her tighter kissing her forehead.

They fell asleep once again in that position; it was exceedingly comfortable to both of them and was also comforting.

It was early morning when they next awoke, this time Scully was watching Mulder stir. He blinked as if he couldn't believe that she was there.

"Morning Scully" he groaned groggily.

"Morning" she whispered, embarrassed at having been caught staring she nuzzled her face away from his chest.

Mulder smirked, she was clearly embarrassed and yet too comfortable to jump out of the bed and leave. He liked that.

"I better get home now Mulder" she said carefully.

"Yes" he whispered back not letting her go.

Scully smirked and looked down at Mulder. "I can't leave if you won't let go of me Mulder" she told him sternly.

"I know" he huffed.

"Oh Mulder, thank you for letting me stay here but you know we can't get used to this, no matter how...nice it is" she whispered in his ear.

"But the nightmares Scully, you need to get to the bottom of them and I don't want you to be frightened. The more I think about it I figure that it's my fault, I am always running off and leaving you without letting you know, and getting hurt" he smiled ruefully.

She didn't look at him but could tell by the sound of her breathing that she was upset.

"I need to go home Mulder" she turned to look him in the eye.

He could see she meant it and slowly removed his hands from her body disappointedly.

"Thanks again Mulder, for being there, for everything" she whispered as she put her shoes on and left his bedroom.

Not long after he heard his front door open and close and he knew she was gone. He couldn't help but imagine waking up every day in that way, and smiled to himself at the thought.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Saturday and Scully knew that she had missed her mother's phone call the evening before. Considering they always shared that time together she knew her mother would be worried but the first thing she did as she entered her apartment was to have a shower.

When she came out to have breakfast the phone was ringing and she expected to hear her mother's voice at the end of the line. However, it was not who she had expected. It was Walter Skinner her boss.

"Agent Scully, Mulder has informed me that you are both taking a leave of absence for the period of one month to recover from your last couple of cases. I was just calling to tell you that it has been confirmed for the both of you. I also hope that you are well, tell me Agent Scully is everything alright?" he asked.

"Sir, I'm fine. Some down time would be much appreciated, I didn't realise Mulder had done so. You said the both of us sir?" she questioned.

"Yes Agent Scully the both of you, there is no point in having Mulder getting himself into trouble without you around. He says he doesn't work well without you and could use the rest himself" Skinner replied.

"Oh...well okay then Sir, I'll see you in a month" she replied meekly.

It was so unlike Mulder to have any time off especially a month, and at the same time as her. What was he up to? She knew he'd been worried with her outburst the night before, and he had been most gracious in holding her all night. It was almost too right. She sighed and decided to call her mother, slightly worried that Margaret Scully had not already called worried sick for her daughter's whereabouts.

She sat down on her low set couch and picked up the receiver dialling her mother's number. It rang three times before her mother picked up.

"Hello"

"Hi, Mum is its Dana" she said dejectedly. "I'm sorry I didn't call last night, I wasn't home".

"Oh that's alright dear, did you have a case?"

"Ah, not exactly I was at Mulder's" silence filled the line. "Mum, you still there?"

"Yes dear, I'm sorry it just surprised me I didn't realise that the two of you were together" she sounded annoyed.

"Oh, Mum! It's nothing like that, I've just been having trouble sleeping and Mulder has been worried and when I wouldn't talk to him about it we skipped work and he took me to his apartment, and I guess I must have just fallen asleep" she said shyly.

"You never told me that you were having trouble sleeping Dana" she said disappointedly.

"I didn't want to worry you Mum, and you shouldn't because it's nothing to worry about at all" Dana said in her most convincing alto.

"Well it must be bad enough if Fox is worried about you Dana, and to fall asleep at his place, you must have been exhausted" she said.

"I was. It's okay Mum please don't worry, I'm actually on a vacation as of ten minutes ago so I'll get the rest that I need" she smiled through the phone, thinking back to the night before in Mulder's arms.

"Well make sure that you do. Rest that is. Feel free to come and visit too if you'd like. You can bring Fox" she said delighted at the idea.

"I will come and visit at some point I suppose, but I'm sure Mulder will have other things to do, you know how busy he is" she said not so convincingly.

"Oh, isn't he on a vacation too?" her mother asked innocently.

"Well yes, but..."

"So he can't be too busy then can he Dana, you say the x files are his life and yet he'd still be too busy to spend time with us when he is on vacation" she quickly cut Scully off.

"Mother! Just because we are both on vacation does not mean that he would be interested in spending his free time with either of us" she said calmly.

"Oh Dana you are a terrible liar, we both know you'd be delighted to spend time with him outside of work, now if you don't invite him along to stay next week for the week then I will, and I insist so don't do a lousy job. The man will be delighted so don't be a fool by acting nonchalant about it" her mother said in a definitive tone.

"I have to go now Mum" Scully said grumpily.

"Okay dear, be a good girl and don't forget to speak to him, if you haven't done so by mid week I will do it myself and I am perfectly serious" she said cheerily into the phone.

"Bye Mum" Scully whispered exasperatedly.

Now how was she supposed to ask Mulder? It wasn't like a day trip or hanging out, it was inviting him to stay at her mother's for a whole week. Isn't that what couples do? Would it be awkward? Would he even seriously consider going? I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but my mother is dead set on getting her way. Maybe I can just slip it into conversation innocently and it won't be such a big deal.

After all he was the one that has taken time off work for the two of us. Normally I would be angry to think that he assumed that I wouldn't do it for myself, but he took the time off for the both of us which means he isn't going off on his own and I won't have to worry about him.

My mother is right, what would he do with himself if he didn't have any cases to work on? It was for a whole month, I didn't think he could stay away that long. Surely he'd only end up doing things with me or the lone gunmen or watch his videos.

I guess I'll just have to play it by ear, we're best friends and if he didn't want to go it wouldn't be that big a deal. I probably wouldn't even be disappointed. Though it would be interesting to see how he reacted to such an invitation. We've never really had much or a vacation before, accept for Christmas which I usually spend with my family. Maybe it could be fun, however, I am still going to avoid it by at least Tuesday that way I can think it over, and still beat my mother to the chase.

Things didn't exactly turn out that way. I sat on my couch for a long time on Saturday after the call with my mother. I couldn't get the idea out of my head now that she had planted the seed. As much as I wanted to disagree with her I knew deep down that she was in fact correct about me wanting to spend more time with Mulder. I love the time we spend together and if it wasn't for our commitment to the x files he would definitely be the man in my life. Hell, he is the man in my life regardless. I know it, he knows it, and my mother obviously knows it. How did my life become so dramatic?

I sighed. What was the worst that could happen? I could call Mulder and ask him just like my mother had basically ordered me to do. Or I could stew until Tuesday like I had planned that way he'd still have a day to think about it but not so long that he'd have time to change his mind. I was really over thinking this. The next thing I knew I was reaching for the phone.

"Mulder" his deep voice reached me through the phone.

"Mulder it's me" I spoke tentatively.

"Scully? Is everything okay?" he asked gently, I'd only left his apartment four hours ago tops.

"Everything is fine Mulder, really. I ah, I just had a conversation with Skinner" I let the sentence stand.

"Oh, umm, about that Scully, really I.."

"It's okay Mulder, I think you're right about taking some time out. I was surprised when Skinner said that you took a month off for yourself too".

"I'm glad you're not mad at me Scully, it's just, I figure we need the break, the two of us. Besides, at least you won't have to worry about me running off and chasing leads and getting hurt" he chuckled on the other end of the line.

"I was just saying that to mum" I chuckled in return.

"Maggie? How is she doing Scully?" he asked sincerely.

"She's great Mulder, she actually invited me to stay with her for a week considering I am now on vacation and all" I tentatively told him.

"Oh. Well that sounds nice Scully" Mulder seemed a little dejected.

"Are you okay Mulder?" I asked.

"I'm fine Scully, really" he replied.

I wasn't sure if I was projecting or not, but it seemed as though Mulder was disappointed that I was staying with my mother I hadn't actually said that I was going yet, just that I had been invited.

"I haven't decided yet if that is what I will do though, I feel like a week with Mum would be great but I know I'll just end up missing work and getting angsty" I said with some levity.

"Oh, I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad Scully, and I know you miss your mum, and considering she is really only an hour or so away you must feel bad that you don't have the time to visit more often" he said understandingly.

"Well that was what she said, her words were 'I don't see you and Fox enough, you really must come and stay here for a week, we barely see each other as it is, and there would be plenty for you both to do'. I told her you would have better things to do than stay there with us for a week" I said seriously.

"Your mother invited me to come with you?" he almost sounded hopeful.

Would Mulder seriously feel comfortable staying with me at my mother's? Well not with me, I'm sure mum would have the right mind to set him up in Missy's old bedroom, but still.

"Yes Mulder, of course she did. You know how she is" I could feel myself blushing.

Mulder was well aware of the fact that mum thought he was great and she was not so subtle about saying borderline inappropriate things that made it sound like Mulder and I were a couple. Perhaps we did sometimes behave like a couple but we really are only work partners, I've always been very open with my mother about Mulder and I can never understand why she works to make things so awkward.

"Yeah I remember Scully. We can't fault your mother for wanting what's best for you Scully" he said, I was certain he was smiling, I could hear it.

"Well, my mother does think you're the best Mulder, don't ever doubt that" I said in the most sarcastic voice I could muster.

"What about you Scully? Am I the best? He asked tentatively.

"You're the only" I sighed. This conversation was fast reeling out of control.

I heard a quick intake of breath on the other end of the line and waited.

"Well Scully, tell Maggie I'd be happy to join you both if it's no trouble" he said almost breathlessly.

"You really want to go Mulder?" I tried not to sound so surprised, but I was sure this would be something he'd wish to avoid, my mother does nothing but pry.

"Sure Scully, why not? Unless of course you'd rather I didn't? He questioned.

"Of course I'd love for you to come Mulder, I ah, hmm, I'd miss not having you around, and I think mum is less likely to interrogate me if you're there too.

"Well then it's settled. What time should I pick you up?" he was quite cheery now.

"Well I hadn't discussed with mum when I would be turning up, as I've said I haven't even agreed to go" I smiled.

"Scully? You mean currently Maggie only has one guest? You wouldn't commit me to something and then not go now would you?" he seemed genuinely worried.

"Worried I won't be there to warn off the boogie monster Mulder?" I asked.

"There's a boogie monster?" he seemed almost child-like in his enthusiasm.

"I offer you safety and comfort and you get excited over the boogie man" I was feeling the sarcasm this time.

"Well Scully that and the fact that you won't mind me snuggling with you so that the boogie man won't get me" he must have been wearing a shit eating grin now. I could tell.

"Sure Mulder, it does get cold in that house" I replied demurely.

All I got was silence on the other end of the line, sure that I'd shocked him I continued.

"I'll let mum know that we are coming to visit. I was thinking I would go sometime during the week, but you seem enthusiastic, so how about we leave on Monday and keep things even?" I proposed.

"Okay Scully, sounds great. It was the snuggling that made you make an early decision wasn't it?" he sounded too pleased with himself.

"Bye Mulder, I'm calling my mother now" I shook my head and went to hang up the phone not before hearing a relaxed 'bye' from Mulder as I went to put the phone back on the receiver.


	4. Chapter 4

Well, that went well. My heart was beating a hundred miles a minute but I'd survived the phone call, and Mulder hadn't shot my idea to hell. He really sounded quite pleased once he realised the invite was extended to him. He was really rather suggestive too. He seemed to think snuggling would be okay, I guess after waking up in his bed with him wrapped around me I shouldn't be surprised. Mulder had never slept in that bed before he slept in it with me. He seemed to enjoy the opportunity. As embarrassed as I was at the time I'll admit to enjoying it just as much. I haven't woken up in a man's arms in a long, long time.

What am I even thinking? I can't let mum see us that way. We aren't together like that. We aren't lovers. Yet, five minutes ago I was discussing snuggling with Mulder under the pretence of the Boogie man; if anything I was encouraging him. I wouldn't lie to myself though. If Mulder boldly decided to keep me company in the night I wasn't going to reject it. Perhaps this vacation time would allow us to explore the possibility of a relationship. We clearly don't see anyone else as far as I know on his part. I am the only woman who has slept in Mulder's bed. The only time he has ever slept in that bed was with me.

I sighed. God this was going to be hard. My mother prodding from one corner and my mind agreeing with her, self control is almost out the window.

She answered after the fifth ring.

"Hello?" Maggie Scully was still cheery.

"Hi mum" I spoke softly.

"Well? What did Fox say?" she demanded.

"How did you know I was calling about that?" I asked annoyed that she would just assume.

"Well dear, a phone call from you so soon after our morning chat, I figured you'd asked Fox and you were calling back to confirm your visit?" she said very matter of fact.

"Well I guess you hit the nail on the head. I was talking to Mulder just now and he seemed eager to come and visit, like you said" I was loath to admit my mother was correct.

"This is great dear! I will get the spare room ready for the two of you, when will you get here?" her excitement was clear.

"Mum, you really need to stop making assumptions where Mulder and I are concerned, we have a complicated relationship and I can already tell you are going to make our situation that much more awkward" I sighed irritated already.

"Oh well, I can have both rooms done up, no harm, I'll just let the two of you figure out your own sleeping arrangements, I know it's none of my business" she said clearly annoyed.

"Look, I'm sorry mum; I know you're just trying to help. Really though, Mulder and I are not stupid we get your hints, it's just more difficult than you think". I explained.

"Is it really Dana? You both just need to relax and forget about the FBI for two seconds. You'd get along great even without the x files" she prompted.

"Mum the x files is all we have in common apart from the fact that I'm the only partner in the FBI who has stayed with him for more than a week" I said sadly.

"Six years is a long time to work together Dana, and you're getting older, your biological clock is ticking!" Maggie was over-excited now with the illusion of grandchildren.

I couldn't bare to explain to her that I didn't think I was able to have a child, that I was barren. That Mulder blames himself for my misfortune. I longed to have a child, Mulder's child if I was being honest. I knew that it wouldn't happen and now that I was to spend a week with him outside of work I knew it would be something that I would think about and I didn't want to let it bother me.

"Yes, it is a long time to work together. Mulder and I are the best of friends, but mum we aren't in a relationship and never have been. We've never crossed that professional line and so much time has passed that I don't think either of us want to upset the applecart" I sighed dejectedly, it was a truth I didn't really want to acknowledge.

"Don't be silly dear. That man loves you. Not as a friend, and not as a partner. He loves you like a man loves a woman. Don't even try to deny it, because you love him that way too. I'm sure you're both scared to upset the balance after so long a time. However, I am firm in my belief that if Fox thought you were comfortable with it he would make a move you just have to give him a sign Dana, not be so reserved and unreadable. I'm sure you trouble that man like no other!" she exclaimed in one big go.

I didn't really know what to say, and I didn't want to get into this with my mother.

"We'll see you sometime on Monday Mum" I sighed.

"Great, I will see you on Monday then Dana. Just remember what I've said, Mother's are always right" she lectured.

"Bye Mum" I placed the phone back in its cradle.

What Have I gotten myself into?


	5. Chapter 5

On Sunday I decided to start packing for my stay with my Mother. I thought back often to the conversation I'd had with Mulder on Saturday morning. He was clearly pleased that I had invited him to come with me and he was flirty. I know with all my heart that I loved Mulder even if we don't have the kind of relationship my Mother insists upon. I'm even fairly sure that Mulder loves me. Sometimes I see him staring at me the same way I occasionally look at him, with longing. I know that he has the same issues with it as I do, that he is frightened to ruin our friendship, risk our careers, and lose our search for the truth. Ever since he has put his sister behind him and accepted her fate he has been looking at me more often. Perhaps more focussed on where he stands with me. I can't be sure what it is, but I know we are toeing the line. That we are tempting fate and that at some point the attraction is going to come to ahead. One day soon, I'm not going to be able to walk away or fight it.

I went through my mental checklist with clothes, and the toiletries I'd have to add to the bag in the morning. I wondered about packing something lacy but only entertained the idea for a moment. It was winter, so it was going to be cold, wearing something sexy to bed was like having a beacon flash at Mulder saying 'do me'. I couldn't be that suggestive, I didn't want to make the move, but I wouldn't be the one to break the spell if we fall under it either. That settled I stuck with a plain nighty. Even though it was winter my mother's house is fairly warm and of course has central heating, wearing winter clothes would just end up making me over heated and sweaty.

I went to bed that night without fear of my nightmares due to the fact that I could only imagine about what tomorrow would bring and what it would be like with Mulder outside of work for so long. I wondered if may be he had been serious about snuggling. I kind of hope he was.

**BREAK**

Monday morning is here and I'm all packed and ready to pick up Scully and drive over to her Mother's place. I was worried when she told me she was going to stay with Maggie because selfishly I had wanted her to stay close so I could spend more time with her. After things with my sister had settled down I found myself thinking of Scully more often, wanting to spend time with her. Not just two friends hanging out but like the other morning when we were holding each other in my bed. It just felt right.

I'd been wondering what I should pack. Not my clothes exactly. I knew Maggie Scully's house was heated and I knew from past experience not to go overboard on layers of winter clothing. What had me stumped was what I should wear to bed, especially if Scully was going to take me up on my offer to snuggle. Whether or not she believed that I was serious I am unsure, but I hope she knows that I was dead serious. In the end I decided to just go with my boxers and a tee shirt, nothing she hasn't seen before. I packed the last of my toiletries and locked up the apartment, with a note for the gunmen about feeding of the fish.

**BREAK**

Mulder arrived at my place just after ten in the morning. He was dressed casually in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes. I was staring for so long that Mulder had started to smile and I had to quickly regroup and invite him inside while I got my coat and purse. When I came back into the entrance he was already standing with my bags. I thanked him and we headed on down to his car. The roads weren't too icy so that was a good sign, we'd make it to my Mother's at fairly the same rate as usual.

He didn't say much to me at first but he eventually broke the silence by asking about how I slept. "Well Mulder Saturday night wasn't too bad, I think I was still too tired to have any nightmares, you helped the other night I think" I smiled at him. He reached over the console with his right hand to hold mine.

"But what about last night Scully"? He asked tentatively.

"Oh, well, I spent a lot of the afternoon cleaning up and packing for our visit" I didn't want to admit that I'd slept well and not have a reason when I knew the reason was that I was fantasising about Mulder.

"Pack anything special Scully"? He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes. "No Mulder, but I thought about it" I looked away knowing I'd been too truthful.

Mulder jumped on my statement like a grenade. "Really Scully? You thought about, you know?" he tried to get me to look at him.

I couldn't think of a way to steer the conversation in a different direction. "Not in my Mother's house Mulder" I simply stated. It was true.

"You're right Scully" he nodded. I turned to look at him. "Probably best not to fan that hidden fire, especially when there is no knowing how loud we would be" he smiled but he seemed to be actually thinking it out logically.

I scoffed at him but couldn't help imagining the scenario in my head. "Scully, your blushing!" Mulder smiled looking way to proud of himself.

"I am not Mulder" I knew I was.

"You are too! You can't help but imagine, you know it would be hot!" he was excited that I had basically acknowledged my feelings on the subject.

I simply smiled and looked away; he'd seen the smile though. I didn't want to get his hopes up especially regarding our personal relationship. Which by today's standards wasn't really all that personal yet, I mean, we haven't even kissed! "Mulder, settle down. I know things have been, well, they've been changing between us but is now really a good time to make this move? I mean of all the times to try and make me admit to an attraction you choose in your car on the way to my mother's!" I said exasperatedly.

Mulder just looked shocked. Like finally having the conversation without double meanings was amazing to him.

"I'm sorry Scully, I know I shouldn't be pushing you when you clearly have other issues to deal with at the moment. I'm sorry" he let go of my hand and returned his focus completely on the road.

"Mulder, that isn't what I was trying to say" I turned to him.

"It's okay Scully. I understand" he swallowed but didn't look at me.

"I don't think you do Mulder. I think you know as well as I do that this is something that would be fun to explore, but you have to realise that we risk a lot by going there. Don't doubt my feelings on the subject" I stressed to him.

"I guess Scully that I just figure out here at your Mother's away from the big bad world we can be whatever we want without it mattering to anyone else. At your Mother's we are Dana and Fox and in my mind that means we can do things we wouldn't normally have the opportunity to do without looking over our shoulders" he finally looked at me.

"Are you talking about sex Mulder?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I'm talking about love, Scully" he was dead serious.

I was shocked that he had been so bold about it. I felt bad for assuming he was asking for a fling. I understood what he was saying. Still, I don't know if I could have a mini honeymoon with Mulder with my Mother in the house. My Mother does want us together, so I wouldn't put it past her to often leave us alone. I wondered if she'd set up separate rooms, and if that was what I even wanted anymore. So much had changed in the last hour it was confusing to say the least.


	6. Chapter 6

Mulder and I didn't get to discuss the matter further because by the time I had made a decision we had arrived and my Mother had come out of the house to greet us. She hugged us both and helped bring our luggage inside. She directed us to the stairs and told us to get ourselves settled and to meet back in the kitchen for some refreshments.

I followed Mulder up the stairs and watched as he stalled between the two doorways across from each other. He turned to me to say something but then decided better of it, then asked seconds later "Which one do you want?"

I hesitated and then tried to look at his eyes but he wasn't going to look at me. I figured my not answering in the car had been enough for him to decide he'd pushed things too far, even though now I was more sure than ever that I wanted to explore with him.

If he wasn't going to listen then I wasn't going to tell him. So I stepped over to the left side of the hall and placed my bag inside. I looked at him, this time with eye contact, and then I looked to the floor, I wanted to fix this, and not be stubborn. Mulder must have noticed my distress because he walked across the hall into my personal space and lifted my chin. I grabbed his other hand and then he took his hand from my chin and rested it on my hip. "I'm sorry Scully, I don't mean to behave like a caveman. I'm sorry for what I said in the car. Can we just forget it and move on?" he looked determined to make this better only he didn't realise he was making it worse.

I put my head down again to hide my face so he wouldn't see the disappointment in my eyes, I could feel the tears building up. "Hey, hey, Scully what's wrong? Please don't cry, I, I, tell me what to do" he held my face in his hands.

"I'm sorry Mulder I turned my eyes away. I don't know what's wrong with me, you'd think when the man you love tells you he wants to love you, that you would know what to do, and what to say but I just, I feel so conflicted, so confused about wanting this. I feel as though it is strange to have something I never imagined I could have even though I wanted it" I sniffed.

"You love me?" he looked thrilled and shocked at the same time.

"That's all you got out of that marathon speech?" I asked him in disbelief but found it humorous at the same time, selective hearing.

He smiled and we both laughed. "I love it when you laugh" he said in all seriousness. I touched his face and before I knew it we were in an embrace. Mulder was kissing me!

"Just so you're not confused about the way I feel Scully" he smiled. He offered me his hand, and after a few seconds where I was still completely dumbstruck I took it and we walked down the stairs to meet my mother.

We didn't talk about this kiss, all through dinner Mum observed us both. She sat opposite Mulder and I, it was surprising that she hadn't mentioned anything relating to couples or marriage. For once she appeared to be taking my advice and not being nosey. Which of course had me suspicious; my Mother never knew when to back down.

She surprised me again by announcing she had a slight headache and that she would retire to her bedroom for the rest of the evening and have an early nights rest.

"Night Maggie" Mulder smiled as he washed up.

I didn't know how to fill the silence. We hadn't spoke since before our impromptu make out session in my bedroom. I decided the best thing to do was to dry the dishes instead of standing around like a stunned mullet. It wasn't an awkward silence.

I'm not sure how much time had passed but before I knew it Mulder was prying away a plate from my hands. "Scully I think that plate has been dry for the last five minutes" he smiled at me.

"Oh" was all I could manage.

"Come on, come and sit with me on the couch" he insisted.

I went willing, Mulder was holding my hand. He sat down, and quickly pulled me into him. He broke my fall and had a massive grin plastered to his face. I simply raised my eyebrow at his playfulness; it was a side of Mulder that I was not accustomed to.

"Don't look so shocked Scully" he said mirthfully.

"I'm sorry Mulder I'm just not used to seeing you like this, it's different" I admitted.

"Different good? Or different bad?" he was curious now that he had me talking.

"I like it" I looked at him; we were close again like we were in my bedroom. What is it with Mulder and invading my personal space? Not that I'm complaining considering I'm sitting in _his _lap. He kept his eyes trained on me as he moved to close the remaining distance between us. I couldn't help but shut my eyes and lean in to complete the act. His lips were soft and gentle, he was a fantastic kisser. This wasn't like the kiss we had shared in my room this kiss spoke of so many different things.

I rested the palms of my hands against Mulder's chest whilst he held my face in his hands. I hadn't been kissed this way in a very long time. We'd been making out for awhile and had broken for air, breathing heavily and looking at each other. Mulder slowly moved his hands from my face and rested them on my hips, gently pushing them down so I was no longer hovering over his lap.

I couldn't help but gasp Mulder was definitely as in to this as I was, he was surely aroused not hiding it but not moving things forward either. I assumed he remembered our conversation in the car. He has got us this far and doesn't want to push the boundaries and make me feel uncomfortable. He was sweet like this sometimes, knowing how long it has been for him, for both of us really, I'm surprised at his handling of the situation. The ball was in my court.

"Mulder" I nuzzled his ear. "Would you stay with me tonight? You know, so I don't have any nightmares" I asked tentatively.

He looked at me, perhaps trying to decide if my question was a pretence due to the culmination of our foreplay but he didn't question me. "Sure Scully" he smiled and nuzzled me back.


	7. Chapter 7

We parted in the hallway to change into pyjamas. I wondered after a while if he was going to come to my room after all. I didn't have to wonder for very long though. I felt his hand on my shoulder and I turned slowly. I'd been so deep in thought that I hadn't even heard him come in I'd been so deep in thought. I realised I was only standing in my pyjama top and moved to place the bottoms in front of my legs as I moved away from Mulder. "Shy Scully?" he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes. I had no reason to be shy, my pyjama top covered me sufficiently and unfortunately for Mulder I _was_ wearing underwear.

"Bed, Mulder. Now" I demanded.

"I like it when you take charge Scully!" he said happily.

My face said it all and he didn't argue. I shut of the light and walked over to the bed. Mulder had turned the sheet back for me and I climbed in. The first thing I noticed upon cuddling up next to Mulder was that my pyjama top had ridden up and I could feel his chest against my back. It was bare! I didn't remember him not having a shirt on. I would have definitely remembered that. I couldn't focus on this for long though because he put his hand on my hip.

"Lacy panties Scully?" he whispered in my ear. I could feel my heart racing. I didn't want to start something with Mulder I couldn't finish. Not in my Mother's house!

I turned around to face Mulder. He couldn't see my face in the dark but I could tell he was waiting for me. I put my hand on his chest. "Mulder, please don't start something we can't finish" I whispered.

"Why can't we finish?" he whispered back.

"You know why Mulder" I replied shyly.

"Scully your Mother has wanted this for us since I met her, her bedroom is at the other end of the house, and she went to bed hours ago" his hand crept up past my hip to rest on my stomach, his thumb moving up and down.

"I know Mulder, I guess I just don't want to have to worry about my Mother when we finally, you know" I hid my face in his neck embarrassed by the whole situation. We'd never spoken so openly or in a roundabout way about our attraction, and now we were discussing sex.

"Can you be quiet Scully?" by this time Mulder had rolled us over so that his chin was resting against my breast bone, my pyjama top rolled up to just under my breasts his hands tickling my sides.

"Mulder!" I giggled partly out of embarrassment and also because I was ticklish.

"What, Scully? It's a valid question!" I could tell he was smiling.

"What are you doing?" I tried to change the subject.

"It's called foreplay Scully, you remember?" he was being cheeky.

"Oh? Is that what you were trying to do?" I teased.

"Touché Scully" he murmured.

"I'm sorry Mulder, I was only kidding, you know you're good"

"I could always prove it Scully" I knew he'd be wiggling his eyebrows.

I didn't have long to contemplate his facial expressions because he had already moved and was kissing my stomach. My insides were fluttering and whilst he was kissing my stomach wherever he could he was dexterously undoing the buttons on my pyjama top. At this point I knew I couldn't refuse him, I didn't want to refuse him. He left the pyjama top open but didn't remove it as he moved lower. My breathing was getting shallow.

He was toying with the elastic of my underwear. He paused his ministrations waiting for my go ahead. I touched his head weaving my fingers through his hair. He removed my panties. I thought this was it, that he would kiss me and I could remove his boxers but he didn't come back up. Oh. My. God. Did he just? Oh God. He Did. I had expected something totally different with Mulder. Knowing about his videos that weren't his I was under the impression that he would be a selfish lover.

It felt amazing, I'd never let any man do this before. I was glad that it was Mulder. I'd watched his mouth on several occasions, fantasising about how amazing kissing him would be. I watched him eat sunflower seeds often, his tongue was quite talented. Now that I knew just how talented I'm not sure I would ever be able to watch him the same way again.

"Oh!" I dug my nails into his scalp, the sensation, the pleasure. I could barely contain myself. My hips rocking up towards him, he held them down.

"shhh! Scully, you have to be quiet" he reminded me.

"Oh God, Mulder I, I can't, Oh!" I'd never experienced such build up.

Without stopping he grabbed his pillow and moved it to my face, I knew what it was for. When the time came, no pun intended. I bit into that pillow with all my might, it muffled my screams and when the final aftershocks came round he was already back up holding my face whilst he kissed me. I could taste myself on him, it was so erotic.

"That was amazing Scully" I could hear the awe in his voice.

"Wow" was the only thing I could say.

"You liked that?" he asked sincerely.

"Mulder. God. I have never felt anything like _that_ in my life" I panted.

"What do you mean Scully?" he asked.

"I mean, nobody has ever done that for me Mulder" I turned my head away embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed Scully. I love you" he whispered.

It was a simple as that.


	8. Chapter 8

I could feel the sun being let into my bedroom through the big window. I didn't want to wake up; I was much too busy reliving the previous night's activities. I blushed at some of the thoughts I was having. Mulder is a very attentive lover. I always knew what we had was powerful but I was still blown away by how powerful the feelings he evoked in me last night were.

He told me that he loves me. I smile. Last night was pretty good, _for me._ Sadly Mulder didn't get a lot of loving last night, and though I feel terrible about it he assured me it wasn't a problem. At first things were clearly going in the right direction, I was convinced that this was it; I was going to have intercourse with Mulder. However we soon discovered that neither Mulder nor I had any protection.

It got a little bit overwhelming at first because I was first to realise that becoming pregnant wasn't going to be a problem in this situation. Mulder soon caught on to my thoughts and comforted me with deep kisses and whispers of his love for me. It didn't take long for me to recover and move things forward, only it was Mulder who backed out.

"Scully?"

"What is it, Mulder?"

"I think you were right, this isn't the best place to be bumping uglies".

He seemed pretty down about it so I knew he had come up with something reasonable like I had been attempting earlier.

"Scully, we don't have any condoms!" he whispered frantically.

"I know that Mulder, we've discussed this already" I rested my forehead against his.

"No I mean, usually that wouldn't be an issue, but we are in your mothers guest room in her house and I don't want to have to explain what happened to her sheets!" he snorted.

"Mulder!" I could tell he knew I was blushing.

"I know right, this is the most embarrassing conversation you can have with the love of your life at a crucial and defining moment in our relationship and it's totally awkward because we've not been there yet, but come on! I have a valid point" he whined.

He did have a valid point..

So as I lay here satisfied because of amazing foreplay Mulder lays frustrated..Wait. Where is Mulder?

It was only just on 6am and he was no longer in the bed next to me. Where had he gone?

I checked across the hall but his bedroom was empty and the sheets were still made up, so he hadn't slept here at all. His suitcase had been ripped open though and his boxers were on the floor.

Hmmm. Mulder was walking around naked?

That's when I heard the water turn on. Ah ha! Mulder had got up before 6 to have a shower! The poor man, I definitely left him high and dry last night, but again, he had a valid argument. If it had been left up to me, those sheets would have been decimated.

I walked down to the bathroom and quietly opened the door. I could see Mulder behind the frosted glass. There was no steam so I assumed this was a cold shower. Which surprised me, I knew how well acquainted Mulder was with his right hand. I blushed.

I stripped off my pyjama top, which I realised quickly was the only thing I still had on. I opened the door to the shower and stood behind Mulder. He hadn't noticed me yet and I realised he must be standing there with his eyes closed, his mind a million miles away.

I reached around him and turned on the hot water and turned down the cold. He sensed the change in water temperature and turned around.

I was not ready for it but he surprised me by quickly attaching himself to my lips. Last night must have been tougher on him then I thought.

Mulder turned me around under the spray of the water and then pushed me up against the wall. He kissed my necked and his hands were everywhere. He lifted me up against the shower wall, his eyes filled with determination and lust. He paused before continuing silently asking permission. I answered him with a kiss.

All I can say is "Wow". Mulder is an animal. It was like he could read my mind and just knew when to make the right move at the right time pushing his hips into me and knowing when to let me grind.

When we were coming down from our high and relaxing against each other after our love making Mulder finally spoke.

"We just had sex" he mumbled.

"Yeah, we did" I said, breathless.

"Do you think we woke Maggie?" Mulder asked smiling.

"Oh God" I'd forgotten about this small fact, but in the heat of the moment I wasn't concerned.

Mulder found my embarrassed expression and face palming highly amusing. I on the other hand could not get over my embarrassment and did not under any circumstance want to leave the shower. I thought about it for a moment, it couldn't have been much past 6:30 in the morning and my mother would expect us to sleep in and so she was unlikely to be up before 8. We were safe.

We stepped out of the shower and dried each other off. Kissed some more and then finally went back to our own rooms. As far as my mother was concerned, we had been in our own rooms the entire night and our morning fun did not occur.

Mulder was insistent that my mother wouldn't make a big deal about it and that she would just be thrilled. I however, didn't want to have to discuss this with her. Especially knowing she would pry for any kind of detail.

I lay down in bed again, missing Mulder and blushing at what we had done this morning. The house was still dead quiet, so I am confident that my mother is none the wiser. I just wish I could recall how loud I was, sound carries in the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

As I had hoped my Mother did not wake up until well after 8. She made no mention of any noise and carried on about the kitchen as per usual. I was relieved to say the least.

I sat at the breakfast bar, absently stirring my cereal. Mulder still hadn't come down stairs, I figured he probably needed the rest or he wanted to give me time to compose myself and to really imprint into my Mother's mind that we'd slept in our own beds.

I couldn't help but blush at what had happened. I knew that it was always a possibility with us. Our relationship had never been like the usual kind. So sex between us seemed inevitable for a long time. It actually happened. I'd only ever imagined what being intimate with Mulder would be like.

It was a surprisingly bold thing for me to do this morning. I doubt that Mulder is complaining but I'm sure he was just as surprised as I was. Honestly I'd never actually had shower sex before. I always found the idea extremely erotic, but was never brave enough to initiate it in past relationships and it was never offered.

Though I shouldn't be surprised, those relationships aren't anything like the relationship I share with Mulder. We have this bond, almost indescribable, it is more than just sex, it is emotional attachment bound by years of mutual respect and love.

I suppose the big question really is why now, I mean I know I was having nightmares, I seem to have got over them quickly with Mulder's attention but I have never seen Mulder so forward and so honest about the way he feels for me. He really wants a relationship?

How could something like this between us really work, away from the FBI it's like being in our own little world, but when Mulder's obsessions take over I'm afraid of what it will do to the new aspect of our relationship. I know of course that it is silly to be thinking of these things now, it has been done. We have crossed a line that we cannot take back. If I admit to myself that I don't want to go back I have only to see that I am in denial about the whole thing.

The answer is simple. I love Mulder. I am in love with Mulder. I cannot help that fact. I have had no other relationships in the past five years. Mulder knows that. He knows that I love him. My Mother even seems to think that she knows it, and she is right.

I don't want to have to hide from her that we are together. Even though she will tell me 'I told you so', I feel as though it only proves how private and secret my life has become. Where my own Mother cannot know my life or my lover. . .

"Dana? Is everything alright?"

"Hmmm? Yes! Yes, everything is quite alright, I was just thinking" I reply slowly.

"Morning all!" Mulder smiles as he enters the kitchenette.

"Good morning Fox, how did you sleep?" Maggie Scully inquires.

"Perfectly Maggie, I don't usually sleep this late, but I guess I was just really exhausted" he eyed me closely and I turned my gaze away embarrassed by what he was implying.

"Well, why don't you let Dana here fix you up something to eat, I'll be out in the garden this morning, you two feel free to join me if you feel like it" she parted with us and went off toward the annex to the garage where she kept her gardening tools.

Mulder watched Maggie leave and when she was finally out of sight he came round the counter to the breakfast bar where I sat and whispered in my ear.

"Morning _Scully_" and kissed me about the side of my head.

I didn't respond, or move for that matter, time didn't seem to be moving. I was still caught up thinking about this new aspect of our partnership.

"Scully?" he sounded concerned.

"Mulder, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is so awkward. I'm not very good at this" I sighed deeply.

"I know this has been a strange time and place to express what we feel Scully and it's made it more complicated to sort through. I don't regret it though. The only regret I have is not being able to lay with you in my arms and reassure you of things. You've no idea how badly I wanted to come back in there with you this morning after -. Well you know" he blushed.

"Oh Mulder" I spun around on my stool and stepped into his embrace. "I wanted you there too, I just...I don't want my Mother having a heart attack and as happy as I'm sure she'll be this is just so knew and I want to enjoy it without having her knowing eyes on us and without feeling restrained because we are being so sneaky" I whispered into his shoulder.

"I know what you mean Scully, we clearly had a relapse this morning but it seems we got away with it did we not?" he questioned.

"Yes, Mom seems none the wiser on that count" I blushed.

"I don't know how I am supposed to keep my hands off you Scully" he whispered in my ear seductively.

"Mulder, we probably don't realise but my Mother pointed out to me many times that you and I are very touchy feely for a couple who are not together. Perhaps she won't think anything of it if we continue to invade each other's space. She tends to think that we are together and that we just don't acknowledge it as anything anyway" I smiled.

"What? So you're saying we can just act like a happy couple in love and she won't say anything at all?" he said disbelieving.

"Well, not exactly I mean if you plan on kissing me or touching me in a 'we're in a relationship' kind of way she will definitely question it but she won't embarrass you Mulder. She'll save it for when she gets me alone to find out all the details. Especially when I've told her before coming here that we were only friends" I sighed.

"You were telling her the truth Scully. Even though I have considered you the woman in my life for years, we've never acted on our attraction, on our love for one another" he stated simply.

"That's true, but then she'd definitely have to wonder about how this change in our status has occurred and the way you hold me Mulder how could she believe otherwise that we've not been intimate. No parent wants to think of their child as sexually active Mulder" I explained.

"Who is this embarrassing more Scully? Your Mother or yourself?" he chuckled.

"I'd say both, but I suppose in being fair it is more that I have a problem with my Mother knowing about us when I feel like I barely know 'us' yet" I finally stated truthfully.

"Scully, I love you. You love me. We've both known that for a while. Yes, the sex is a new added benefit but it doesn't really change anything" he promised.

"I know rationally speaking Mulder that what you say is correct; it's just, I haven't been in a sexual relationship for a long, long time. I'm not exactly a virgin but I still feel inadequate and unexperienced, Mulder, I feel extremely shy about this" I admitted my real worry bashfully.

"Scully, I understand. Honestly, you are a reserved person yes. However, I saw something in you last night and this morning that wants this as bad as any other lustful female. Its instinct Scully, not experience that matters. You show me what you feel and we feel good together, that is all that matters" he kissed me slowly and I rapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

"Thanks Mulder" I smiled.

"Oh, and Scully?" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You are far from inadequate. You have an _amazing_ body, your touch is like fire, and you are a fantastic kisser" he finished with a peck on my lips. "Now get in there woman and make me a sandwich!" he smiled lamely.

I laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

Mulder and I were sitting on the couch together when I heard my Mother opening the back door. I had been sitting sideways in Mulder's lap and moved off him when I heard Mom enter the kitchen.

I could not tell if he was upset because I'd moved or simply because he wished we could have stayed like that. It was different, nice even. We sat for most of the morning whispering to each other, talking things through.

I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to be affectionate with someone that you love. Though I consider Mulder the only man I have ever truly been in love with, the times in the past were not even close to the feelings I was experiencing now. It is nice to be intimate, to share things.

I still feel giddy about the shower incident this morning. It's not like I'm a virgin over here or anything but _wow..._What happened this morning was border line pornographic! It's not just how it happened though; it is the fact that it did happen, Mulder and I? Have intercourse? Well, we did and it was extraordinary!

Perhaps my experience has been quite vanilla in comparison to Mulder's although I suspect his collection of videos that aren't his have something to do with the moves he pulled in the shower. Perhaps the fireworks that are going off in my body are just from the excitement of it all. I hadn't been touched by a man in so long and it has definitely awoken some lady instincts that were until very recently quite dormant.

So what? I can go almost five years with no intimate contact and now I want to do it again after less than four hours? I'm a doctor; I know how these things work.

I didn't have long to have this internal debate before my Mother decided to enter the room. She stopped short and looked at us strangely. Straight away I thought something had given us away. Then I noticed how far away on the couch I had moved from Mulder and realised the problem.

"Is everything alright dear?" Maggie enquired looking between Mulder and I.

Mulder stayed quiet, obviously he wasn't sure either so I jumped in quickly to smooth things over.

"Everything is fine Mom, just sitting on the couch with Mulder" I said calmly.

She seemed to accept my answer and shaking her head left the room.

"You alright Scully," Mulder finally steps in.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he was frowning. "Really Mulder, everything is okay".

"Are you going to jump ten feet away from me every single time your Mom comes into the room?" he sounded so sad.

I hated that I was making him upset. He already spends enough time blaming himself for everything that is wrong in my life when ironically he is what makes everything right in my life. I knew I needed to explain my feelings to him, Mom had gone upstairs to wash up so I knew I had time.

I climbed into his lap moving my legs both sides of his hips and wrapped my arms around his neck resting my forehead against his. "I love you" I whisper.

He nuzzles me and I stare into his eyes, it was now or never.

"I don't want you to misinterpret my behaviour Mulder so I am just going to explain it the best I can, okay?"

"Sure, go ahead Scully". He smiles.

"Mulder...you know I haven't had an intimate relationship with anyone for a long time".

He nodded.

"Well, after this morning I think you really woke up the dragon, so to speak" I knew I was blushing.

His eyes widened.

"I have all this nervous energy, I haven't felt like this for a long time and I'm having trouble keeping my hands to myself! If you know what I mean" I looked up at him.

He was smiling "that's not a bad thing Scully," he whispers against my lips.

I smile against him, "we are in my Mother's house!" I whisper loudly as if this explains it all.

"So what you're trying to say Scully, is that, you are hot for me and our sexual chemistry is off the chart right now, and even though we had incredible shower sex this morning you are feeling frustrated and angsty because you are craving me" he was being smug.

I was too preoccupied to be angry with him for being smug, my eyes were closed and I was trying to breathe deeply, trying to calm down. The proximity wasn't helping things.

"I wish you wouldn't make fun of me Mulder," I stated simply.

"I'm sorry Scully. I know this has sort of snuck up on you" he was settling on being more serious now.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. "Why did we EVER wait to do THAT?" I whispered loudly and hung my head until it rested on his shoulder.

He chuckled lightly. "What are you thinking about Scully?" He asks.

"I'm thinking this is going to be the most difficult week of my life" I sigh. "I can't not spend this time with my Mom Mulder, but I so badly want to just take you home and ravish you for a week" I blushed at my bluntness.

"I'm certain we can find creative ways to get around being in your Mother's house Scully" he whispers seductively.

Normally, I would not even consider planning sexual encounters under the same roof as my Mother but I felt a desperate need to be close with him again and soon.

"Make it happen Mulder" I kissed him passionately.


End file.
